17 years ago back when I was 11 years old I was in my first year of secondary school (High School). It was at this point in my life tat I first tarted to realise that I wa different to other boys.

See I wasn’t interested in the girls, i liked the boys. It took me a while to understand what this meant, by it was then I realised that I was gay.

For the next 5 years I really struggled with who I was. It wasn’t until I went to college at 17 that I met another gay guy. He was so open and confident about who he was, whilst I was so far back in the closet I was practically in narnia.

Over the next 8 years I had experiences and relationships that I always ended because I was always afraid of what I was doing and how my parents and family would react if they ever found out.

Eventually during a drunken night out with my twin brother around the age o 25, I finally came outo my first family member. He was fine with it, and this gave me hope for the future.

Then last year I came out to my other brother, who has been fantastic with it all. I actually think he is generally proud to have a gay brother, and has really supported me over the past few months.

Then back in November I met “the boy”. We were set up on a date by a mutual friend, and got on quite well. We carried on dating and on Xmas eve last year officially became boyfriends.

Since then I have been paranoid about fucking things over due to the closeted situation I am in with my parents. This started to make things difficult, and I started to consider making the final move of telling mum & dad that their youngest son is a bender.

This has stayed on my mind for the past week, keeping me awake at night, making me stressed out and driving me crazy. Until tonight that was anyway…

I hadn’t planned anything as such, but had been thinking about it a lot at work. I got home, and sat down at the table for a meal with my parents. I was still thinking aboutthibgs, so was very quiet during the meal. Mum picked up on this and asked what was wrong.

Then, without evening thinking about it, I just said “I need to tell you both something… I’m gay!” – at that point mum jumped out of her seat and hugged me telling me it was ok.

Dad was quiet, but eentually said that he was still my son, as long as I was happy then that is ok.

I was shocked, not only that I finally told them, bit that it went so much better than I had expected it to go.

Mum and I had a chat about things, and I told her about “the boy”. She told me as long as I was happy and safe, then she was happy too. There was a bit more hugging and a few tears, but all in all a positive reaction.

To be honest, I am actually a little dissapointed by it all. To think I have worried about this moment for the past 17 years of my life and for it to all end up going so well is crazy. I was kind hoping for some fireworks, a few songs, maybe even a parade outaide the house… But no, nothing!

In fact, 20minutes after ad my dad was back to asking me how to doing things on the computer like he does every night.

Maybe this all some weird dream I will wake up from in the morning. If it is, it was a bloody good one!

Its become something of a tradition of mine the past few years to blog about my New Years Resolutions, and although my old blog is no longer around, I thought i would continue that tradition with EvilGayTwin… so here they are, my New Years Resolutions for 2009!

1. Get back in shape!

Last year I decided I wanted to try and get into shape for my twin brothers wedding. I wouldn’t say that I am obese, but I do carry a bit of spare tire around my waist! So with a sensible diet, and some exercise I ended up losing a stone in weight which I was really proud of, and although I personally didn’t think that it showed much, a lot of people commented how good I looked, which really boosted my confidence!

Anyway, since the wedding, I have slipped back into bad habits! Although I have been mostly still following the the diet I was on pre-wedding, I started including more and more treats after the wedding, and combined with a total loss of interest in going to the gym these past few months, I have nearly put back on the stone in weight that I had lost! *BAD ME*

so, now that the festive season I out of the way for another 12 months, I thought I would try and get myself back to the state I was in a few months ago.

It doesn’t exactly help that I got over a kilogram of Green & Black’s Chocolate (my personal heroin) for xmas this year, but I have decided to try and ration myself to only a few squares a day!

I am also going to try and get back into my old regular exercise routine of gym 3 times a week, and swimming once, maybe twice a week!

2. Be more drink aware

I have never been more of a drinker really. Living out in the arse end of the deepest, darkest corners of Essex, I usually have to drive a lot when going out, so tend to spend much of my social life sober! Although this could be generally considered as a good thing, it does have its draw backs… the most prominent one being that I am a totally light weight when it does come to drinking alcohol. Literally, 3 drinks and I get to that silly stage, 4 drinks and I start stumbling, 5 drinks and I am anyone’s! In recent months, my intolerance for alcohol has started to become more of a problem for me.

At my twin brothers wedding I was frequently described as being “rather merry” and “lively on the dancefloor” after a few glasses of table wine! At a friends birthday in October, I got in a bit of a state in the club we was in! At my work xmas meal/party, I regretted taking advantage of the free bar, and even during last nights celebrations I didn’t come out too well after the pre-midnight drinking games!

I am half tempted to go t-total and cut out drinking alcohol altogether, but sometimes a drink is needed to losen up a bit and enjoy yourself, so instead I am just going to really cut down and try to stick to my limits!

3. Out with the old, and in with the new!

Like any gay man, I like to look good, and can be very concious about what I wear. However, over the years my styles in fashion choices have varied, and whlist I have continued to add to my clothing collection, I never seem to throw anything away. This has left me with loads of clothes that  rarely see the light of day, let alone ever get worn!

So I have decided that every time I buy a new item of clothing, it will be to replace a older item I never wear any more, and that older item will have to be thrown out!

4. Save more money!

I am quite good managing my money as it is, but what with the falling house prices here in the UK, I am hoping that this year will finally be the year I can move out of my parents house and finally buy a property of my own!

I already have a reasonable amount set aside for a deposit on a house, but my plan is to try and move out during the later half of the year, so between now and then I am going to try saving as much of the spare pennies I can resist from spending in order to build up as much as a deposit as I can!

So there they are, I am only making 4 resolutions this year in a hope that I wont be putting too much pressure on myself to try and stick to them all! I will try posting updates on any progress I make at achieving them!