17 years ago back when I was 11 years old I was in my first year of secondary school (High School). It was at this point in my life tat I first tarted to realise that I wa different to other boys.

See I wasn’t interested in the girls, i liked the boys. It took me a while to understand what this meant, by it was then I realised that I was gay.

For the next 5 years I really struggled with who I was. It wasn’t until I went to college at 17 that I met another gay guy. He was so open and confident about who he was, whilst I was so far back in the closet I was practically in narnia.

Over the next 8 years I had experiences and relationships that I always ended because I was always afraid of what I was doing and how my parents and family would react if they ever found out.

Eventually during a drunken night out with my twin brother around the age o 25, I finally came outo my first family member. He was fine with it, and this gave me hope for the future.

Then last year I came out to my other brother, who has been fantastic with it all. I actually think he is generally proud to have a gay brother, and has really supported me over the past few months.

Then back in November I met “the boy”. We were set up on a date by a mutual friend, and got on quite well. We carried on dating and on Xmas eve last year officially became boyfriends.

Since then I have been paranoid about fucking things over due to the closeted situation I am in with my parents. This started to make things difficult, and I started to consider making the final move of telling mum & dad that their youngest son is a bender.

This has stayed on my mind for the past week, keeping me awake at night, making me stressed out and driving me crazy. Until tonight that was anyway…

I hadn’t planned anything as such, but had been thinking about it a lot at work. I got home, and sat down at the table for a meal with my parents. I was still thinking aboutthibgs, so was very quiet during the meal. Mum picked up on this and asked what was wrong.

Then, without evening thinking about it, I just said “I need to tell you both something… I’m gay!” – at that point mum jumped out of her seat and hugged me telling me it was ok.

Dad was quiet, but eentually said that he was still my son, as long as I was happy then that is ok.

I was shocked, not only that I finally told them, bit that it went so much better than I had expected it to go.

Mum and I had a chat about things, and I told her about “the boy”. She told me as long as I was happy and safe, then she was happy too. There was a bit more hugging and a few tears, but all in all a positive reaction.

To be honest, I am actually a little dissapointed by it all. To think I have worried about this moment for the past 17 years of my life and for it to all end up going so well is crazy. I was kind hoping for some fireworks, a few songs, maybe even a parade outaide the house… But no, nothing!

In fact, 20minutes after ad my dad was back to asking me how to doing things on the computer like he does every night.

Maybe this all some weird dream I will wake up from in the morning. If it is, it was a bloody good one!

Tags: family, gay, life, personal

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 at 11:04 pm and is filed under personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.